Dissociation - Resource Sheet 1: Ramblings of Ministry

I received ministry at Beth Tephillah, 3rd> February ’07, as a demonstration of the Anazao teaching on ministry to parts. This is the guinea pig reporting! I did have ministry on the 23rd>, (Beth Tephillah) and my ramblings include that session.

• During my daily time with our Lord the very next day (Sunday 4th), I was overwhelmed and so thankful for the precious life my mother had given me although the circumstances were so difficult for her. (Ironically, I was later that day praying for a man who had come forward for prayer - some of his upbringing identified with mine. During our time together, the Lord revealed to me a memory of that time and I was able to deal with it later. What amazing grace - the memory was just there in my face).
• I had mentioned when we were about to commence the demonstration that I had a picture. I can’t recall what was said but it was something along the lines ‘not now. Not the time.’ That picture did return - a portcullis. I asked the Lord to dismember all the mechanics I have put in place to protect me. It disappeared and at the moment I knew I could fully trust His protection.
• I am more decisive - not the constant deliberation in my mind, as before ministry.
• Seemingly, knowing instinctively what to do but not relying on instincts (if you know what I mean).
• The Lord has placed ‘seriously’ on my heart judgements, even the most silliest of things (though I guess not silly to Him) I have made against others. (The little booklet with ‘Daily Prayers’ I have found invaluable at the end of the day prayers in lifting off judgements and blessing others.  I guess envy/resentment/criticism = judgement, so there is a massive move here. Praise God!!!
• I have found how easy it is to draw inward to the Spirit of Jesus in me - This is a new revelation, a new depth. Speaking of depth. I don’t know whether this is because of the Ministry or whether it is due to the book I have just ‘devoured’. ‘Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ’ by Jeanne Guyon. I know there is this difference in me. Maybe if I hadn’t had the ministry, the book would not have impacted so greatly. All I can say is, Hallelujah!!
• After the second ministry (23rd> Feb.) I have felt freer - loose inside? The only way I can explain it is by a Scripture that comes to mind. "I am the light of the World. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but have the light of life". (John 8:12). That’s what it feels like inside - bubbling light!!

Naturally, I have been pondering all this and contemplating how much of all of this is play acting but, when a part came forward with my name (23rd Feb), I was blown away. I somehow know what is left is the real me, whoever that may be. What an exciting voyage of discovery!